Weight and Feeling
by EarthRiddle
Summary: The Roleholders' feelings for Alice are as complicated and unique as the Roleholders themselves. AliceXvarious. A drabble series updated as I feel like it.
1. Clockwork: JuliusXAlice

Comfort is working on a silent broken clock, working with the infinitely small pieces, fitting them together with his practiced hand. Love is satisfaction of a finished job, a clock smoothly working in his hands, ticking away the gentle time.

Or so he thinks.

Then she enters his world and he sees there is more outside to this existence than what he previously thought. There is more to love and comfort than clocks. There is kisses and embraces. There is Alice.

Now work is loneliness, a room that's empty and dim. People come and go but all they want is for another clock to be fixed. No one speaks to the mortician, no one cares for the mortician and in turn the mortician turns from the world and hates them.

Except for her.

She enters his world like a light in the darkness, a spot of something great, and promising and beautiful in this empty world. She fills his life with something he didn't even know was missing.

The clocks seem to tick a new sound. Alice, Alice, Alice. It's all he hears when she's not there. His skin remembers her touch even when she's gone. Most of all his heart (or clock, as it is) remembers the slew of feelings she brings up in him. Swirling, warm feelings. Love.

Alice enters the room.

"I'm back, Julius," she says, with a smile.

He doesn't quite smile back. That's not his way. But he does nod and feel happy just knowing that she's there.


	2. Kitten! Gray

"Why'd you bring that thing home?" Julius said, eyeing the fuzzy kitten in Alice's hand.

"I don't care why!" Nightmare exclaimed. "It's warm!" He immediately tried to snatch the cat from Alice's hands, but she pulled it away.

"Work before warmth," Alice said. "And you haven't done any work today. Besides this kitten doesn't want to be cuddled up to you.

The person with the oddest reaction was Gray. He stared at it, stars in his eyes.

"May I hug it?" he said.

"Sure."

Alice handed him the kitten.

Gray, the assassin, made a new fuzzy friend.


	3. Mother and Father: GrayxAlice

Yes, this is similar to the last drabble but I DO NOT CARE! I love kittens. Gray loves kittens. Alice loves kittens. What is there to dislike? Warning: drabble may give you cuteness overload.

X

That morning Alice had found a kitten on Blood's estate. She knew Blood wouldn't care much for the little thing so she took it home with her in a basket back to Clover Tower. It purred softly as the basket she carried it in swung softly back and forth with her gait. She hummed silently to herself.

When she got it to the Tower, the reactions of the residents varied.

"Get that animal out of here," said Julius. "It'll get fur all over the place."

"You're so cold-hearted," Alice said.

It stuck its white little head out of the basket, its large blue eyes looking questionably up at Julius.

Gray looked as if he had been stricken.

"Let me have that basket," Gray said.

Alice handed it to him carefully with both hands. "Be gentle," she said. "You don't want to scare him."

Gray picked the kitten up, allowing the basket to drop to the floor. He stared into it's wide blue eyes as if he were under a spell.

"Come on, Alice. Let's find him something to eat." Kitten cuddled against his chest in one hand, he grasped Alice's hand in the other.

They went to the kitchen, fed the cat and then went to Gray's room where they sat down together.

Gray and Alice petted the kitten together, their hands running across the soft fur of its small body.

"It's so cute!" Alice said. "Baby animals are always so cute."

Gray smiled, the kitten nuzzling his finger.

"You'd make a terrific father," Alice continued, the words gushing out her mouth before she could even think of them.

He shook his head. "You wouldn't say that if you'd seen some of the things I've done," he said calmly, running a finger down the kitten's back.

"I think you would be a good father despite those things. You're a very gentle person," Alice said.

"You truly think so, Alice?"

"I can see it," she said. "The way you treat that kitten is so sweet!"

They smiled at each other.

"If I ever were to be a father," he said seriously. "Alice would have to be the mother."

Her smile faded as his words struck him. "What?"

"I love Alice." He took a hand and began stroking her cheek at the same time he petted the kitten. "I love her because she is cute and adorable."

_He's petting me like a cat, _she realized with dismay, but she found herself rubbing herself against his fingers.

He kissed her cheek.

"You're very special to me," he said. "I would do anything for you."

She stared up into his eyes and wasn't quite sure what to say. "Would you?" she said.

He hugged her, the kitten softly tumbling from his lap into Alice's with a mew. She embraced it like a child and stared down at it.

He followed her gaze. "You would make a fine mother," he said. "A fine mother, indeed."


	4. The Little Girl

The last drabble made me think "hmm...what if Gray and Alice did have a kid?" Hence, this ficlet was born. Enjoy and review!

X

Little Alli's feet brushed across the floor as she ran up to Nightmare's desk, standing on her tip-toes to peek over at it. Her mother and father could barely keep up with her, so they let her run around and pretty much do whatever she wanted…within reason. She wasn't allowed to leave Clover Tower. Not that this stopped her, anyway.

Nightmare leaned forward.

"Yes?" he said.

"Guess what I'm thinking, Mr. Nightmare!" she said brightly.

"Kittens?"

She nodded her head vigorously. "Guess again! Guess again!" she said energetically.

"Kittens in funny hats?" he said.

"You're so amazing." She smiled.

He leaned back, amused. "Surely your mind is a place of many wonders."

"Go ahead! Guess again." She smiled widely. She never grew bored of this game.

He sighed and put cheek on his hand. "I'm pretty sure you're still thinking about kittens."

"Woah! How'd you know! It's like you can read minds." Her large blue eyes were wide. As the daughter of a Roleholder and Foriegner, she had been born with a face, but she wasn't a Roleholder herself.

"I can read minds, actually," he said.

"Nuh uh." She shook her head. "Daddy says you're just a lazy fool."

"Your daddy is a mean, mean person."

"That's a mean thing to say about somebody's daddy!" she said, pursing her lips. "But I'll forgive you if you tell me what I'm thinking about right now."

He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Kittens in funny hats doing cartwheels?"

"Yep!"

"You are the oddest child I've ever met."

She giggled happily and stepped away from the table. "You're so smart. You always know what I'm thinking."

"I barely have to read your mind to know what you're thinking," he said dryly.

"I'm always thinking about cute things." The little girl clasped her hands together. "You know, this is getting kinda boring…you always guess right…I'm going to go do something else."

With a skip and a hop the girl was gone out of the room.

X

I have a terrible obsession with writing OC's. Please forgive me. Darker Wonders is filled with nothing but OC's. Oh well.


	5. Storybook Romance: AliceXBlood

From across the long table he watches her, casually drinking his tea, his dark blue eyes upon her and she feels her heart skip a beat. This is the Leader of the Mafia, but you wouldn't know it from the way he looks at her with a gaze that is tender and loving.

He settles back into his chair like it's a throne. Perhaps he is a Prince, she thinks, but not a Prince Charming. He has charm, but none of the goodness of a storybook prince. Sometimes he is more villain than hero. Sometimes his coldness and cruelty scare her, but she always comes back to his arms in the end.

Because she loves her Mafia Prince, and in the end he would always rescue her, his Princess.

It's not a storybook romance, not exactly, but it's the closest Wonderland has.


	6. Players: PeterXAlice

Welcome to Wonderland.

Watch the players in the Game, all aware their actions come to nothing. After all, if they fail, if they die, won't they just be replaced? That's the way of Wonderland, isn't it? A cycle, again and again, with no end, even when the players themselves expire. There are many to replace them. Many came before them and many will come after.

The Game cares nothing for them. The show will go one without them. As it was in the beginning, it shall be in the end, over and over.

Hope. A fleeting fire, put out by the reality: Wonderland will never end. The Roles will never end. Nothing will end. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

They love her because she is irreplaceable. The rose of Wonderland, their obsession. The White rabbit knows the game, and he loves her for it even more.

He holds her, or tries to. Tries to hold a fleeting grasp of freedom, of something outside of all of this, but she escapes him each time. Beauty denies him.

Pretty Alice turns her face away each and every time. No matter how many times he utters "I love you" she remains unmoving, just like the cycle of Wonderland. Is she really as different as he thought?

But she must be! She must!

He grips his shaking hands and gazes feverishly down. Then he lifts his gaze to her retreating back-always retreating-and says the words again. "I love you!"

She turns, her misty blue eyes looking tired beyond her years. Wonderland has changed her, corrupted her. What had once been a young, innocent girl was now a very tired woman, broken down by the violence of this place.

"I've told you before! No!" Her voice is desperate. She wants him to stop, but he can't.

He can't just move on. There are no others like Alice, that mean what Alice means. She is special, unique. She means everything to him.

His hand reaches out once more, but she goes, leaving him with nothing but her image burned in his eye.

Come back! his mind screams. Come back! But she continues on.

* * *

One morning he finds her dead among the flowers of Vivaldi's territory, her hair fanned around her face, her eyes staring into the blue sky.

There she lies a broken victim, destroyed like so many others, despite how special she was. Or perhaps because of it. Who killed her? Who knows?

In the end, the Game cares nothing for her. Foreigners come and go.

Only Wonderland continues.

Peter knows this. As he holds her broken body, he knows this.

He finally knows.


	7. Despair: NightmareXAlice

"Are dreams meant to last forever?"

Her small, worried voice filled the dark space.

Nightmare stared at the ceiling, his eyes trained away from Alice, even though he could feel her gaze on him.

"And where did this question come from?" he asked.

She held the blanket close to her chest and curved against his body in the bed, the warmth touching her skin but not able to make it to her heart.

"Alice?"

"How long can a dream last?" Her voice shook with overwhelming fear and sadness, as if she already knew something large and frightening loomed over the horizon. Realization shook her.

Reality, her reality, was what Wonderland could never be. It was meant to forever be a beautiful dream, a frightening nightmare, but with morning light such things ended.

When would morning come for her? It was always looming in her mind, haunting her, that this strange and wonderful place would one day cease to be.

One day very soon she'd open her eyes to her old home.

He twined his fingers in her hair. "Dreams are wonderful, aren't they?"

"Not when they end..." her voice died. She touched his skin, his smooth, silky skin and gave into despair.

X

Angsty fic is angsty!

Also, I'm doing a survey of people who like HnKna. Hop on over to the poll (because you know you love my polls and want to marry them in a shotgun ceremony).


	8. Beauty: AliceXBlood

Alice is a little OOC. I wanted to do something different with her. I'm sick of Blood being the top-dog all the time and initiating everything. Anyway, this is pure BloodXAlice fluff.

* * *

"You're beautiful," he whispered the sweet words, holding her hair up with his hands as his lips brushed across the tip of her ear.

Then he twined her fair hair between his fingers, delicate strands shining in the light, and ran it across his lips. He was very close to her at that moment, his body hovering over where she sat in the plush chair.

Although she smiled, an annoyed crease formed on her brow. "Blood! I'm trying to read." She set the book in her hands down.

"Nonsense. You can read anytime." He nuzzled her cheek. "I want you, Alice."

"Nonsense. You can have me anytime," she retorted. "I want to read, Blood." She smiled to herself.

"You think you're clever." A devilish, wicked grin she knew all too well cracked on his face. It seemed so contrary to his smooth, handsome face, and yet…it was something she knew so well. It was just another thing that made Blood who he was. She loved it, just as she loved everything else about him. She even loved the forcible way he approached everything.

She knew he definitely was not a man to let something he wanted go, but that didn't mean she was going to go down without a fight.

"I am a little clever," she said, but her words almost barely came out, almost died in her throat as his lips came close to hers.

"You're a clever little minx then?" he said, stroking the underside of her chin with one finger. "My clever thing."

Eyes lidded, she stared into his face, his messy black hair falling into his blue eyes.

She couldn't say anything. She was entranced, caught and he knew it. Dammit! How did he have such an effect on women?

She wouldn't give in. She wouldn't lose.

She stood suddenly and swirled away, snatching the book into her hands. Smiling, she said, "You're good, Blood, but I can get the same thing out of novels, right?"

He stared, an eyebrow quirked.

"You think that's a substitute to what I offer?" Looking irritated, he adjusted his hat.

She laughed, coming towards him and placing both hands on the sides of his face, bringing him down to her level. "I don't know. You should show me. I'm not quite sure what you offer…" She placed her head on his chest, the tick of his clock faint in her ear. She gripped his shirt tightly, breathing lightly.

"Is that a challenge, Miss?" A smirk played on his lips.

Her fingers played traced circles on his chest. "Take it as you will, Blood."

"It's a challenge." Satisfaction marked his voice.

He was always so sure of himself, almost to the point of arrogance. It was a trait she used to despise, but as she grew to know and love him she realized that this was simply another part of him she liked and even admired. She was constantly second-guessing herself, tormented by thoughts of her sister and her decision to stay in Wonderland. It was nice to have someone as sure as Blood in her life.

She never used to be this forward, but a little bit of him had rubbed off on her since they had been together. A little bit of her had rubbed off on him. Just a little. She sensed the slightest bit of her own compassion had formed in him. Knowing that they had influenced each other so much sent chills down her spine. It made her happy.

Wrapping her in his arms, he tilted her head down and gave her a kiss that made her legs quiver and heart race.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

_Beautiful._

She knew what the word meant.

Knew without doubt.

It meant love.

* * *

BTW, I'm running low on fic ideas. Anyone who wants to send some to me can. They have inspired fics before. I think the DeeXDumXAlice fic was inspired by someone's comment.


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